Desperation

I'm desperate.
I'm having the worst time booking shows.
I have to be out of my house by March 15th.
I have someone breathing down my neck right now thinking that I'm in love with him when I'm not. (Really... I mean it. I doubt you read this, but if you are, I'm not. I used to like you an insane amount, but really... I'm really happy that you're in my life and just because I reach out to you like a friend doesn't mean that I want you in any other way. We're homies, ok? Now stop acting dick-ish.)
I'm having friendship issues.
I'm a horrible person.

And despite all the desperation and low self-image of myself, I'm pretty much happy. It's the weirdest feeling in the world. Could you imagine? Me? Happy? How many times has that happened in my life? Not many. I'm not even talking about the short-term, one week happiness. No, I'm talking about the going on three weeks on Tuesday. Crazy, huh?

I think my new tattoo really sums up everything in my life. My heart was and sorta is still breaking. It was breaking for worse things a few months ago, but now it's just breaking for family purposes and other shit... But, the ribbon tying it together is making it whole again. I feel like my life is getting together again. I mean, despite all the shit in the world that happens to me, I'm content. I feel like everything is changing. Time heals everything. Time healed my heart. Time healed it all. Maybe time will heal my desperation.

I hope I get a room!