Rather than write a bulletin, I'll write a blog.

So, I stayed up this late because I was updating my "gayspace" and listening to shitty pop-punk, sad/sappy songs, Tom Waits' songs, goth, grindcore, powerviolence, and death metal.

I fucking hate myspace some days. This is the exact day I'm thinking this because I have now stayed up until 1:40am doing nothing but being narcissitic. Fucking retarded. I'm a confessed victim to society's view of my generation being self-indulgent and idiotic. I am MTVs perfect patron. I am now a statistic.

I am a degenerate product of my generation. I consume when I preach non-consumerist attitudes (at lease I man up to it, unlike most people). I am mostly apolitical even though I pride myself on being politically conscientious. I am claim to be a feminist even though I say bitch all the time and think sexist jokes are funny (some people are too PC... Sexist jokes are hilarious). I don't think of myself as a racist, but I do like racist jokes too (I don't give a fuck because I know it's not true). I think mentally disabled people should be treated with respect, but I say "retarded" all the time. Eh... I am a hypocrite, but find me one person in this world that does not contradict what they believe in.

Fuck you if you judge me on this shit. I don't give a fuck.

I used to say I would be vegan forever, but after 2 1/2 years of being vegan, I gave it up for $50 sushi... It was delicious.

I used to say I would be straight edge forever, but after roughly 1 1/2 years of being straight edge, I gave it up for drinking a beer with my dad at a bar in his hometown...
And if Guatemala doesn't count, then I gave up being straight edge for drinking with Carlos and his friends, a few weeks later, at the Extreme Noise Terror show.

Anyway, I guess what I am trying to say is that I suck. I have no will power to stay vegan and no desire to be straight edge anymore.

I do not always stay true to what I believe, but I certainly do not go against it. It's not like me saying sexist jokes means that I believe in that mentality...
Sure, there is the argument that if you continue to say those jokes or say "bitch" or "cunt" all the time that it desensitizes others into believing it's okay to be sexist. That is bullshit. If someone meant that shit, I would be the first person to call them on it.

Anyway, it's not like I drink Coca-Cola everyday or eat at fast food places. Puh-leez.... Even those lame ass "environmentally green" people that spend insane amounts of money on specialty items are more consumer minded than I am. I don't shop for brands. I buy used clothes, band shirts, or wear hand-me-downs. I buy vinyl when I can, but it's not like I am going through EBay everyday and buying $60 test press special edition blah blah blah vinyl. Eh... Whatever.... Point is, it's impossible to be a non-consumer in a capitalist society...

Whatever.... I don't have to defend myself anymore.

The point of this blog was to put myself down for being similar to how girls my age are portrayed as, but as I am writing, I realize that I am not like them. I go to school, swim laps in the pool, go to La Raza Student Organization meetings, go home and either do homework, text, or kick it with Cassondra. On Tuesdays I go to booking. My weekends are filled with work, homework, and spending most of the time by myself during the day and going to shows at night, if I can find a ride.
Yeah, I know. I am super exciting.
Girls my age are portrayed as partiers. I barely party. They are portrayed as slutty. I am hardly slutty (except for my low-cut shirts... I don't give a fuck!). They are portrayed as self-indulgent. I self-indulge a little myself, but who doesn't...
I could go on for longer, but I won't.

I have written and re-written this blog probably 3 times since 1:40am. It is now 2:52am. It's time to sleep...

Loves,
Alejandra
"Todo que amo, amo sin razón."